My first draft of this essay was a lot like a free write. In my first drafts, I usually just write all my ideas down, and sometimes paragraphs end up containing multiple claim sentences. Once I have gotten all my ideas out and into my essay, I go back and revise, organizing my sentences into my functional paragraphs. One of my biggest improvements this semester was my ability to form Barclay and TREAC paragraphs. In this paragraph specifically, I turned a paragraph into a TREAC paragraph during my global revision process. This change made my ideas a lot more concise. My second time through I also was able to create more free-flowing transitions between paragraphs. In this paper specifically, I struggled with incorporating my personal perspective and experiences in my first draft. After editing my thesis, rereading my essay, and having time to think, I was able to add in beneficial evidence related to my personal life. By talking about my narrative, I was able to add strength to my thesis arguing for a more diverse standard narrative. Another major improvement I made this semester was my ability to cut out unnecessary sentences. In these drafts, I was able to cut out sentences that repeated themselves or were irrelevant to my claim.
My local revision process also improved this semester. I started reading my essay out loud to myself, which helped me catch a lot of sentence structure errors that interfered with the comprehension of my ideas. A lot of times, when I am reading my own words in my head I skip over errors. By reading my essay out loud, it helps me understand my essay from the point of view of an outside reader.
