Revision Strategy. I would like you to take some minutes and reflect on your peer review experience. Return to your peer’s notes. Flip through your own. Now is the time to develop a strategy. Your strategy is the plan of action you will take to achieve your overall aim (Dictionary.com). Your strategy should include:

1. Revisit the grading rubric as well as my notes on your last paper. What new skills are you working to incorporate into your new paper?
2. What are your revision goals, articulated in your own words?
3. List the steps you plan to take to achieve these goals (in order of priority)
4. What you see as your biggest challenge?
5. And what will you do if a challenge comes up that proves too difficult for you to solve on your own? In other words, what resources do you plan to use?

1. One of my biggest focuses for this paper will be structuring my paragraphs a little bit more. At the very least, I hope to do a better job introducing quotes and using quote sandwiches.
2. My revision goals are to restructure my essay so that my naysayer paragraphs lands at the end of my paper. I am going to attempt to start my argument deeper into the conversation and avoid explaining the bare bones of the argument. I also am going to complicate my thesis a little bit more with the counter argument and do a better job incorporating it into my argument. I am looking to go more in depth into why diversity of storylines is so important. There are also a lot of places where I can trim down my paragraphs. Overall, I am looking to refine my argument into more sophisticated and developed ideas.
3. First, I will read through my essay and look for places where I can edit down, or eliminate so of my wordiness and repetitiveness. I would like to add to my thesis and include more about the benefits of the standard narratives. Next, I would like to eliminate my first paragraph about narratives and write a new paragraph that complicates my thesis using Strawson. I want to look for more creative and sophisticated ways to use his quotes. Finally, I would like to draw more connections as to why diversifying storylines is so important.
4. My biggest challenge will probably be finding another use for Strawson’s quotes. I wasn’t the biggest fan of his essay and his ideas frustrate me, but I think I will be able to find ways to use his ideas to complicate my own.
5. If I can’t find more ways to use Strawson then I may email you and ask you if the way that I am using his seems effective. I can also ask a friend who doesn’t know the essays if my use makes sense to them.

Revisit the Barclay Paragraph: Write a Barclay paragraph that connects a quote from one Narrative Project with one of our assigned essays.

Julie Beck’s argument that Americans seek out stories that portray life as a rags to riches dramatization or quest for success is supported by the narrative story that Delia Barry provides about her grandfather’s tapes. In “Life’s Stories”, Julie Beck breaks down the use of personal narratives in our everyday life, why we use them, and their potential benefits and dangers. She presents the idea of a standard narrative, or the blueprint that we model our lives after. Beck argues that while the standard narrative provides us with examples and goals for life, it can also offer unrealistic expectations for those who can’t meet the requirements of achieving a “model life”. According to Beck, “Americans have sought to author their lives as redemptive tales of atonement, emancipation, recovery, self-fulfillment, and upward social mobility”. Beck warns that although this concept may be presented as the standard narrative for American life, it is not always achievable, and presenting it as a higher truth can be harmful for those who may not have a choice in their destiny. While this may be a great way to tell stories, it is not always an accurate depiction of what life shapes up to be. Delia Barry provides an example of an instance when this narrative is attainable, and when manifest destiny can be achieved. Barry tells the story of listening to her grandfather’s narrative tapes, recounting his experiences of growing up in America and coming to the United States to start a better life. Barry finds solace in the fact that “there is always hope, even when you are a little Albanian Greek boy with no mattress”. Barry’s family originated with nothing, and her grandfather’s narrative portrays their development of success as a story of redemption and struggle. While Barry’s family story does provide an example of a situation that does seem to follow the type of stories that Beck warns about, it is very possible that Barry’s grandfather crafted his narrative after the “American dream” standard narrative. It is unlikely that every detail of Barry’s grandfather’s life followed the upward curve toward success that it’s narration follows. However, as Beck mentions, for a lot of people the redemptive story is a great way to tell their story. Not every Albanian Greek boy had a life that can be modeled after the same format, but it is possible to model the imperfect after the perfect and make it your life narrative.

Compare your second reading experience with your first. Did you notice something new? Did you react differently to one of the author’s claims? Did you read something critically when, at first, you read it as a believer or vice versa? Continue to “clear the fog.” Look up at least two more terms or references that you don’t know.

The biggest thing that I go from re-reading Strawson’s essay was finding quotes within his use of references that I can use for my essay. After I got over how much I dislike his way of arguing, I could look at his references as sources for inspiration for my own essay. For instance, he includes a really good quote from McAdams that I can draw from. I think that using his references to support my own argument will be very beneficial, and a good way to engage with Strawson in my essay. I can present the quote, and then talk about how my interpretation of it differ’s from Strawson’s use in his argument. I also was able to pinpoint where Strawson says it is “false that everyone stories themselves, and false that it’s always a good thing” as the general main point of his essay. As the essay goes on, it is very difficult to tell exactly what his argument is, but it all sort of follows that main idea. This second reading was helpful for me because it gave me more ways to use Strawson’s essay in my essay, even though I don’t agree with his opinion. I can also draw quotes from him in order to introduce a counter argument within my own essay.

Set a timer for 15 minutes and free write your response to Galen’s argument. Note specific moments in his essay as you respond. Some things to consider: Have you ever felt impeded by your “life story?” If so, how? Do you feel like it’s truthful or possible to perceive your self as a singular self or can you relate when Galen talks about possessing many selves?

I really did not care for this essay. I hated how Galen argued his stance. He sort of made fun of other people’s opinions and called them and people who think like them stupid. I really did not like how he cluttered his essay with paragraphs upon paragraphs of people whose arguments he found ridiculous or people who he thought had the idea perfect. He came across as one of those people who tries to sound smart all the time but if you really listen to them they’re not saying anything important.

I also did not like how he totally out ruled the idea of narratives. Just because you have a bad memory and aren’t actively thinking about life as a narrative doesn’t mean that you don’t still have a narrative. A narrative is just the ability to take life experiences and tell them in a condensed way. Galen said that autobiographies are different than narratives but I really don’t agree. If you are the type of person who writes out your narrative factually like an autobiography then that is just your interpretation. Galen made people who do think of their life as a narrative as crazy people who have overactive imaginations. That really isn’t the case. Being able to give your life a narrative is a skill most cognitively functioning people have because essentially it is just the ability to interpret your life.

Where does Galen think that these story formats come from if he claims that life never follows them? Sure, our entire life does not follow a “perfect” story but parts of our lives definitely do. Whether it be good or bad, everyone has events that happen to them that follow the build of a story. Also, this format is how we recall events to other people. So essentially if you’ve ever told someone about something that has happened to you, that’s part of your narrative.

I really just didn’t like Galen. I actually got mad while reading his essay. He just seems super condescending and rude. I hated how he talked in circles and tried to use quotes from big literary names to help support his argument. He definitely made use of lots of fallacies in his argument. He definitely overused authority to help prove himself correct. Ugh I did not like this essay at all.

Julie Beck covers a lot of ground as she explores narrative’s potentially powerful influence on our lives. Identify at least three notable assertions or other moments in Beck’s text that caused you to sit up straighter and take note. Explain what exactly caught your eye. Did you react as a believer or doubter? Did you build a connection between the text and the world or the text and your self?

This essay by Julie Beck did a great job of explaining how narratives work. Narrative are the ideal format that we want all stories to follow, even our life stories. “(W)hen people think about their lives to themselves, it is always in a narrative way” (Beck). A moment in Beck’s text that I immediately caught was her explanation of how the actual story that we pack our life into is our personal choice. The same person can have the same experience, but the way that they include it into their life story will be completely different. Telling our story “is a way of making sense of the world around us” (Beck). In other words, our life is chaotic and filled with many plots. Condensing our lives into stories helps us to understand and process events.

Another point that Beck made that really caught my attention was her point about Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton. I read this book in high school for my AP Literature class and interestingly enough, our teacher made us read through the book twice. The first time we read the book simply for plot, and the second time through we looked more deeply into the meaning behind the plot, the hidden metaphors, and the emotions of the characters. I found it very interesting that this is how I read the book considering Beck’s point about how things can be lost on you in a story. Had I only read the book once I probably would’ve hated it, but reading it through again allowed me to understand and appreciate many aspects that I had missed before.

I loved Beck’s point about how standard narratives do give us an example of how to structure our own, but how they can also let a lot of people down. If your own life isn’t able to follow the narrative norm, you may be left ostracized or disappointed. There are many times that people can not control the reasons why their life does not fit into the standard narrative, and they have no way to make it fit. Standard narratives can “provide unrealistic expectations of happiness” (Beck).

List 4 areas from the rubric that provide you with the greatest learning opportunity. Feel free to include areas that confuse or confound you. Spend a few sentences elaborating on each choice.

Watch out for dislocated “hit-and-run” quotes”

This area is something that I particularly have to watch out for. I tend to sometimes embed my quote without directly explaining how it relates to my argument. I know why I included it in my head, but sometimes I fail to transfer the reasoning to paper. It is difficult to watch out for this because a lot of the time when I read over it I still have that understanding with me. This is where peer reading with a specific question in mind is helpful.

Does each paragraph lead naturally one to the other?

When I write my introduction paragraph and my thesis, I am conditioned from high school to structure my paragraphs based off of the points that I hit in my thesis. While sometimes this leads to a well structured essay, it can also be restricting. I struggle with re-formatting how I use paragraphs because I hold onto my original intention.

Are your paragraphs a reasonable length?

Again, this relates to my above point about pre-determining the structure of my paragraphs before I have finished my first draft. I oftentimes find myself with lengthy paragraphs that hit on more than one point because I feel that all the information fits within that one point I was trying to make about my thesis. Letting go of that structure and breaking up my paragraphs is sometimes a challenge for me.

Does your conclusion– while rooted in your paper’s main themes– also introduce new directions for thought?

When writing a conclusion, it is natural to want to nicely wrap up your readers experience with some definitive thinking. Coming up with ways to keep them thinking about your topic, while still wrapping up your argument can be challenging. I need to look for ways to still close up my essay while leaving the reader with connections to my argument on a broader scope.

After reading Anne Lamott’s “Shitty First Drafts”, take a minute to compare and contrast your own first draft (and the experience of writing it) with Lamott’s descriptions. What did you notice? Did anything surprise you about this short essay? Did anything offend you? (100-150 words)

At the bottom of your post, please type/include your REVISION PLAN STRATEGY

I can sort of relate to what Lamott is trying to articulate about the first draft experience. She is trying to say that the first draft is not going to be perfect, and that it is okay to write the first attempt for yourself. You shouldn’t worry about judgement or how others will interpret your writing, that is for other drafts. However, I don’t relate to her explanation of having a “childish” first draft. While my first draft isn’t perfect, I don’t revert to a childish state and write nonsense. I may write some undeveloped statements, but they all have some kind of intelligent idea behind them. Perhaps the reason that Lamott gives this advice is because she is talking more about storytelling than essay writing. I am not the type of person to write a draft “twice as long as it should be” (Lamott). I don’t understand how writing down things that you know are nonsense will benefit you in the end. Maybe it’s just me, but I like to have more of a filter when I am writing, especially for academic purposes.

Revision Plan Strategy:

My Goals for Revision (in order):

1. Look at ways to make my sentences flow more smoothly in my introduction
2. Look into breaking up my paragraphs so that they aren’t as long
3. Edit places where I use “metaphor” too much
4. Re-read for grammatical and sentence structure errors

I am going to try to edit my essay structurally to make it more reader-friendly. Most of the feedback that I got was on construction, and ways that I could better support my text with word choice, paragraph construction, etc.

Most likely, the biggest challenge that I am going to have is trying to break-up my paragraphs. One of my peers said that it may be beneficial to split them up so that my points were more clear. I agree, but I originally structured my paragraphs off of larger points, so now I have to look into my smaller points to break them up.

Once I revise my paper, I plan to utilize my peers for feedback on whether or not my changes were effective. I can ask my peers in class to read over my essay once again, but I can also ask my friends who are not in class for their opinion. Getting feedback from someone who doesn’t know the sources and background information as well as myself and my classmates could be beneficial to knowing how easy my essay is to understand. My goal is that even people who haven’t been learning about metaphors and their importance will understand my essay and my argument.

Essay 1 Introductory Paragraph

Metaphors are one of the most prominent language tools used in explaining complexities. Our daily conversations and environment are surrounded by the casual and purposeful use of metaphor. The media, news articles, and our everyday conversations are ridden with hidden metaphors. Our education often evolves from a simplified metaphor to a more complex concept. Metaphors have the ability to change our way of thinking, and restructure our thoughts. If metaphors are so influential over our thinking, is it possible that they can go so far as to alter our physical well-being? Definitely. Metaphor has a deep significance in health and medicine. Metaphors are explanations of diagnoses, plans of treatment, and even a way of thinking for patients. Metaphors dictate how a patient, their health team, and their families experience illness. Metaphors are powerful means of communication, especially when used in conjunction with vulnerable populations. While metaphors do have great influence, just how much they affect a patient is very subjective. The use of metaphor in medicine is very important, but it needs to be used with care. Metaphors can positively influence physical well being when used accurately, personalized to the individual, and in moderation. However, if metaphor is not used with these things in mind, the effects can be detrimental to emotional, mental, and physical health.